Don’t listen to those who tell you you need to forgive someone in order to “get over it”.
Too many people push themselves to forgive before they are ready – and it just means healing takes longer.
You’re actually not morally required to forgive anyone.
It’s not even something that’s necessary for you to heal or live a perfectly happy life.
What’s really true is that forgiveness naturally happens – when you’ve felt all the feelings you have to feel.
When there’s so little left to feel about something or someone that you finally feel free.
And then it naturally arises…because the emotional charge has left your body.
This happens without effort. You don’t even need to focus on it.
And what gets you to this place is honesty.
Be honest about what you feel. Let yourself burn through the pain, no matter how long it takes. Seek out all the support you need.
But don’t try to paper it over with false forgiveness. You don’t owe that to anyone.
And one day, when you have grieved and raged and cried more than you thought you needed, you will wake up and find that you just don’t care anymore.
And you’ll feel relief.
And that’s aaaahhh…forgiveness.
But don’t rush it… (Tales from a long journey of putting myself back together!)