Two things can be true at the very same time: you can know everything is ultimately going to be okay (perhaps even better) AND you can feel rattled, afraid and disoriented nevertheless.

When such high levels of fear are activated, it’s a normal human reaction to go into a panicked survival response to what is being presented as a huge threat.

The best thing you can do is to be gentle with yourself.

When you’re in a fear meltdown, the part of you that is still a scared young child is running the show.

So you have to check how you are talking to yourself at the moment.

There’s no point trying to be rational and reasonable with a frightened little person. There’s absolutely no point at all in chastising her, or telling yourself you’re being ridiculous.

Ask yourself how you might reassure, comfort and soothe a child…

You’d probably wrap her up in your arms and help her feel safe. Communicating through the body, not the mind.

You’d probably hold her and speak in a slow, soothing voice till her heart rate slowed down.

You’d probably clear all plans for a while, wrap her in a blanket and spoil her with lots of nice, calming things till she felt loved and safe again.

So if you knew it’s your inner child that’s scared right now – not so much your rational adult self – how might you treat yourself differently? What might you need to feel calm, soothed and safe?
Because when you calm your child self, your adult self can begin to make wise decisions again.


Niamh x