Are you hoping to find happiness through changing yourself?
Do you secretly believe that you are not now good enough – and all will be well once you’ve lost 10 lbs, got fit, found a new job and secured the perfect partner?
I know I did. Still do, sometimes!
The shiny, perfect you always lies tantalisingly just ahead of you; her image being dangled like a juicy carrot on a string.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way it’s that the answers to our health and happiness never lie on the outside. We already have access to perfect happiness inside us – we just need to remove our blocks to it.
Understand the messaging
One powerful block to self-acceptance is that our consumerist society thrives on keeping us dissatisfied. It’s hard to love and accept ourselves when images all around us point out our supposed inadequacies.
We’ll never be as young, thin or unblemished as the photoshopped images on billboards, in magazines and on Instagram feeds everywhere. And so what?! Can we just feel okay with that?
Because we could spend our whole lives desperately chasing an ideal of perfect womanhood, when not only is this never achievable but it’s actually a complete nonsense of an ideal. And all this chasing will keep you away from the joy available to you now in the present moment.
So choose carefully what you consume.
Unfollow any brands, experts or gurus who promote perfection. Be careful when reading women’s magazines and skip TV and online commercials as often as you can.
It’s amazing how blissful ignorance can be!
Remember who you are
So now that you’re not getting distracted by media sales messages, you can begin to journey back to yourself. Who are you? What makes you truly happy?
Because we all have the rules of life backwards! Instead of thinking you’d be happy if you loved yourself more, instead know the real truth: you’ll love yourself when you do more to make yourself happy.
How much of your life now is about doing things that light you up, excite you and help you feel joy? Or have you got stuck in a dry routine – working to make money, looking after kids, sitting in front of the TV in the evenings?
When was the last time you felt like yourself?
It’s amazing how doing the kind of things we loved as kids can transform how we feel. Did you love to dance, play sports, draw or dress-up?
Doing the things we love puts us back in touch with our inner joy. And we then remember who we are. And it feels good.
Spend time with yourself
All solutions really do come from within.
I know – most of us don’t really want to go there! It’s seems so messy inside our minds and bodies and a quick fix (another celebrity diet/a change of job/that new series on Netflix) seems like a much easier option.
Since we were young, we have been taught to look outside ourselves for all the answers to our problems – to our parents, teachers, doctors and anyone around us who seems like they know what they are talking about.
My own experience is that I spent many years thinking there was someone out there who could magically ‘fix’ me. That if I just found that one healer/guru/course that was perfect for me, all my problems would magically disappear.
But what actually happened was that nothing healed in me until I realised I could save myself.
Through meditation and reiki, I opened up to myself. I learned what my body was trying to tell me when it got sick. I also discovered what was really going on when I was feeling anxious, overwhelmed and teary.
This changed everything.
Knowing you can trust yourself above all else leads to the kind of self-acceptance and confidence we are all secretly seeking. It’s hard to be anxious when you know deep down that you’ve got this.
Continually feeling like you are not good enough wastes so much of our precious energy. I’d love you to experience what it feels like to relax into exactly who you are.
All the best,
P.S. If you enjoyed this, check out 4 Personality Tests That Could Change Your Life and How to Understand & Stop Your Emotional Eating